Breastfeeding Affirmations - What to Say on Those Hard Days

You’ve read all the books. You’ve taken the class. You’ve watched a ton of YouTube videos and followed all the most relevant Instagram accounts. You should be fully prepared to breast or body feed your brand new baby, right? Well….let’s just say that nothing is guaranteed when it comes to your infant feeding journey. Education and support are definitely great things to invest in. But if we’re being honest, some days are just HARD, even for the most well-educated and well-prepared. So what do you do on those really tough days?

You give yourself grace, that’s what you do. And you affirm yourself (or you share these affirmations with your support person/partner so they can affirm you too) and all the hard work you are doing to feed your baby.

(If you are struggling to latch and feed your baby from your breast/body, you can also reach out to us for infant feeding support or a recommendation to a great IBCLC.)

So without further ado, we want to share our favorite affirmations (with some truths sprinkled in there) for those hard breastfeeding days.

You and your baby are both learning a new skill together. Be patient with yourself.

You might have heard people say that breastfeeding is “natural,” but that doesn’t mean it’s going to come naturally. I like to think of it being natural in the way walking is natural, not breathing. Walking takes practice, you stumble and fall down, and you keep at it until you do it well. That’s kind of the same thing with breastfeeding. This is a new skill that is going to take practice - for both of you. You’re going to have to learn how to do this and teach your brand new baby at the same time. This will be the first of many things you teach this new person you created, and just like you are doing now, you’re going to give them grace and patience for every new thing they learn. Give yourself the same.

Take this one feed at a time.

Sometimes it’s easy to get wrapped up in the long term feeding goals - making it three months, six months, or even further. And if things are not going well, it can feel like all of those goals are falling apart around you. When this happens, pause, take a deep breath, and tell yourself that you are going to take this one feeding at a time. Don’t think about what things are going to be like in six months. Instead just focus on the current feeding; do your best with what is right in front of you and what you can currently control. And just know that if this feeding doesn’t go well, it does not mean that the next one won’t be easy.

Breastfeeding is not all or nothing.

There might be reasons - both physical and emotional - that you need to supplement your baby in the early days of establishing breastfeeding. But if exclusive breast or chest feeding is your ultimate goal, you can still reach it. Breastfeeding never has to be all or nothing. An occasional bottle or even more frequent early bottle-feeding while trouble-shooting latch or supply issues, does not mean you cannot ultimately meet those longer term goals. Practicing the paced bottle feeding method and also continuing to stimulate the breast while supplementing with bottles will protect those goals and keep your baby fed. You can do both!

One “bad” feeding session does not define your entire journey.

I love a good baseball metaphor and, let me tell you, every feeding session is not going to be a homerun. Especially in those early days when you’re still learning. Some feeding sessions are going to feel like a total strike out and that’s okay. Try not to let that defeat you or rattle your confidence. Even the best players strike out sometimes. If you can’t wake up your baby or get them to latch, for example, just take a moment to collect yourself, calm your baby, and remind yourself that you get to try again. One hard nursing session does not define your entire journey.

You are working so hard to feed your baby.

Breastfeeding is hard work. It takes a lot of patience and practice to learn this new skill. It’s an around the clock commitment, that means you’re probably losing sleep. It’s easy to get frustrated and overwhelmed, especially if you find breast or chest feeding to be off to a difficult start. Remind yourself that you are working hard. Even if it’s not easy, don’t discount how hard you’re trying.

Your baby loves you no matter how you choose to feed them.

Look at that beautiful new baby in your arms. Even though that little peanut can’t communicate in words what exactly they need, you’re there to try and figure that out and meet those needs. This baby needs clean diapers, a place to sleep, food, and love. We know you have a lot of feelings and goals around how you feed your baby - and that is absolutely normal and okay to feel that way - but trust us when we tell you that your baby loves you no matter what you feed them.

Your mental health matters just as much as your feeding choices.

And finally, and this is the big one, your mental health matters in all of this. If breast or chest feeding is your goal, we know it’s important for you to give your baby breastmilk. And we know you’re willing to work so hard to meet that goal. But always remember that YOU matter just as much in this feeding relationship. If your mental health is suffering, it is okay to change your goals when it comes to infant feeding. Your baby deserves a healthy and well parent, so please don’t forget about you in all of this.