When Breastfeeding Sucks

What happens when breastfeeding straight up sucks? 

And I don’t mean literally. I mean, what happens when you discover that the feeding goal you had - the one that is held up to be the ideal way to feed your baby - makes you feel absolutely horrible? 

Are you even allowed to hate breastfeeding? Of course you are… And you’re not alone!

Before anyone comes at me with the pitchforks and torches, let me be clear: I recognize that human breastmilk is the optimal food for human babies. 

As the Director of Education for ProDoula, the global industry leader for training and certifying doulas, I spend a heck of a lot of time researching, writing about, and staying up to date on the benefits of breastfeeding. I know and believe in the benefits for the population at large.

But that doesn’t mean breastfeeding is always beneficial for the individual. Yeah, that’s right - the individual. 

Have we forgotten about the person who is actually making the milk for the baby?! They are a complex human being with desires and needs and wants. It is A-OK if this person decides that breastfeeding sucks.

It can suck for so many reasons:

• Pain - What if your nipples are cracked and bleeding? What if latching your baby to the breast brings toe-curling, excruciating pain?

• Frustration and Anxiety - What if tracking every minute of every feed is driving you to the brink? What if the anxiety of not knowing whether or not it’s working is plaguing your every thought?

• Exhaustion - What if the thought of one more night of broken sleep brings instant tears to your eyes?

• Resentment - What if breastfeeding is causing you to resent your partner, or worse… your baby?

What then? Well, if you need resources and support to keep going, we have them and we can help. But if you don’t, I want you to know that that is perfectly fine too.  

This is your baby and your journey. 

And you get to unapologetically do what is right for you. And at Doulas of Raleigh, we’ll support you