Emotional Support in Pregnancy and Labor
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and there is a lot of discussion in supporting women during the postpartum stage. This is absolutely important but what doesn’t really get discussed is the importance of emotional support throughout the preganancy , labor and birth, and the immediate hour after birth. What happens throughout these phases can have a direct impact on the emotional well being of the birthing person. This is the role of the labor doula
A lot of people think the role of the labor doula begins when someone goes into labor. While that’s a pretty important part of the role, it doesn’t begin there. The role of the labor doula actually can begin as soon as someone finds out they are pregnant and they decide to hire a doula right away.
At Doulas of Raleigh, our labor doula teams go on call for our clients as soon as they hire us…whether that’s at week 6 or week 36. This means the doula team is available at all times for questions via text, phone call, or email. If someone struggles with anxiety they may have a lot of questions about what is happening throughout the pregnancy. Labor doulas are a quick hotline for reassurance about what might be going on. This saves people from going down the Google rabbit hole and finding the most extreme stories with the worst outcomes. Your labor doula can act as your safety filter and let you know what is in the realm of normal. They can also give you current and evidence-based information.
When you go into labor, your labor doula team will be there to be your safe space to help you figure out if it’s the real deal. Of course, they’ll give you and your partner suggestions of ways to stay physically comfortable during and between contractions. What they’ll also do, though, is give you reassurance that what is happening is a normal process. If you are scared or anxious, they’ll be right there to give you fact-based encouragement (we will NEVER say that labor isn’t hard or hard work…toxic positivity is not the look we wear around here).
During those late labor contractions when you feel like you’re in another world (we call that labor land), your labor doula will look deep into your eyes and nod their head that you are doing this thing. If your labor plan changes course from what you thought it might be, your labor doulas will meet you where you are. They will be your safe space while you make decisions that are different than what you thought they would be and support you every step of the way.
If you get an epidural and finally get more physically comfortable, your mind may have time to catch up with what’s going on. Sometimes when the body is more quiet, the mind roars with uncontrollable thoughts of the unknowns of labor. Your labor doula will be there to talk through your concerns. They will ask your nurse to explain any medical terminology that you are unclear about. Sometimes, they will sit right by your bed while you take a nap because that’s the only way you can rest…knowing that someone is right there with you.
If your labor is really long or really short both births might be hard to wrap your head around. Your labor doula will be there to help ground you by holding your hand and sort through what just happened.
Your doula will be there for you if you are having any complications and reassure you that your medical team is doing what they need to do. Or, if your baby is born and doesn’t cry for a few minutes, your doula willl hold your hand and tell you to talk to your baby and hold them close to your heart. She’ll also make sure the medical staff can reassure you that everything is OK (it usually is, sometimes babies are a little stunned right after they are born). Your labor doula will wipe your face with a cold towel. feed you a snack and give you something to drink, and tell you how hard you worked and how wonderful a mother you already are.
Your labor doula will undoubtedly show your partner how to do an amazing hip squeeze, help you move into different positions for labor, place a cool cloth on your neck, etc. What you really hired her for, though, was to have a soft place to land when things get hard or veer off parth. Labor is hard work on the body but it is also hard work for the mind. In fact, we would even say that labor is more emotional than physical. Your doula can be your emotional sanctuary during this major life event. What a great way to start of motherhood…by putting support in place for yourself!