Preparing for Postpartum - What You REALLY Need to Know
When we think about what we need to prepare for life with a new baby, often times we focus on things. The stuff we should add to a our baby registry. Strollers, baby monitors, diaper bags - those kinds of things. But the truth is you and your baby will probably be fine without a lot of stuff in the early days (other than diapers, food, some clothes, and a safe place to sleep). So what do you really need to feel prepared for postpartum? Pro tip - it’s not stuff.
If I could share just a few things that actually help new parents feel better prepared for their postpartum journey, it would be the following….
Make a Plan to Get Some Sleep
I love babies, I do. But man, they are NOT good sleepers in the early days. Not at all. (And it makes sense becuase those bellies are teeny tiny so they need to be filled up frequently, around the clock.) And because newborns are not good sleepers, this means that you will also not be getting great sleep. I don’t tell you this to scare you, but to prepare you.
Newborns need to eat every 2-3 hours around the clock. And we measure that time from the start of one feed to the start of the next. When you factor in how slow a sleepy, little baby eats, the time spent changing diapers and burping, and then the effort of soothing and re-settling your baby back to sleep, by the time you are actually able to lay your head back on your pillow, it might be time to feed your baby again within an hour. Ugh. That’s not a lot of sleep.
So what can you do? (Because we still have to feed these babies all night - that’s not negotiable.) Make a plan with your partner for how you are both going to tackle this kind of sleep disruption. Will one parent take over more responsibilities in the day so the other can sleep more? Will both parents divide the night feedings? Maybe the breastfeeding parent is awake only to feed the baby and then hands the baby off to the other parent for diapering, burping, and soothing. Or maybe there is a plan to introduce a bottle at night as soon as possible so the parents can take turns feeding at night.
There’s no right or wrong answer here, but my advice to you is to talk about this NOW. Before the baby is here. This is the time to really focus on your individual needs and begin communicating them to each other. If you try to do this when you are newly postpartum, hormonal, and extremely sleep deprived, the conversation might not go as well.
Make a Plan to Eat
It might surprise you, but most of your energy and brain power will go towards making sure your new baby is eating. And you will probably find it challenging to devote that same level of energy to yourself. But good nutrition is important, especially if you are breastfeeding and need those additional 400-500 calories each day.
Cliff bars and takeout is going to get old real fast so prepare yourself now for what your meal plan is going to be postpartum. Perhaps you have some friends who have offered to set up a meal train for you? Definitely say YES to that! And if it seems overwhelming to have lots of people coming to your door in this postpartum stage, just put a cooler out on the front porch with a sign expressing your gratitude and a promise to meet the baby further down the road. Trust us, other parents will totally understand.
You can also start planning and prepping some meals now to stock your freezer with. One of my favorite ways to do this is to just make a double batch of your regular dinner here and there - that takes care of dinner tonight and dinner after the baby is here. Two birds with one stone.
And did you know that Doulas of Raleigh also offers a Meal Prep service? That’s right! We want to make this as easy as possible for you. We’ll send one of our doulas to your home to batch prepare four meals for the week and package them up for you so all you have to do is reheat them throughout the week. We can do this for you pre- or post-natally. There’s no excuse to not take care of yourself!
Identify the Helpers versus the Visitors
This is so worth a conversation with your partner now. Trust us. You may have offers from numerous family members who are ready to descend upon you the moment the baby is born so they can “help.” But ask yourself - are they truly Helpers?
Helpers are the people that offer to cook meals and serve you as you relax on the couch snuggling your new baby. Helpers see the pile of dishes in the sink and just go ahead and load up the dishwasher without being asked. Helpers will walk the dog and make sure their water bowl is full. You get the picture. Helpers actually show up and do things to make life with a new baby easier on you.
Visitors on the other hand are just there for baby face time. They love baby snuggles and are happy to hold a quiet, sleeping baby so you can “get things done around the house.” (And they’ll hand that baby back right away as soon as the crying or fussing starts.) Visitors expect to be fed and taken care of by you. Visitors make more laundry for you and leave dirty plates in the sink, right next to all those bottles that need to be washed. You’re probably starting to see why a house full of visitors on top of learning how to care for your newborn is not such a great idea.
It’s really important for you and your partner to get on the same page now about who will actually be helpful to have in your home following the birth of your baby. And who should save their visit for later - much later.