I'm in Labor and I'm Scared
I’ll never forget being in labor and in the car on the way to the hospital. I would have a contractiotn every few minutes and would have to focus all my attention on working through it. Believe it or not, that wasn’t even the hardest part. In between contractions, I had time to think. I started thinking, wow, this baby atually has to come out of me. That’s when the tears started rolling down my face.
Until then, it all seemed so abstract. Yes I felt the the kicks and saw my baby’s face on the ultrasound screen. I took the childbirth classes, went to the baby showers. and bought and washed baby clothes. And yet, it just didn’t seem real.
That drive to the hospital is when it all got real… REAL real. The idea of what was about to happen was terrifying. I had no idea how I was going to get this baby into the world.
When I got to the hospital, I was escorted to the labor and delivery unit by a hospital volunteer while my husband parked our car. I felt so alone in that moment and the contractions somehow seemed harder than they had just moments before. Again, I felt that panic of fear run through me.
Once I was settled into my hospital room and my husband was with me, my labor just…fizzled out. I went from having strong contractions every 3-5 minutes to having mild contractions every 10-15minutes. Thankfully, my baby and I were fine so the hospital staff didn’t bother us about it. I truly think the fear that I felt on the drive to the hospital and the wheelchair ride to my hospital room dramatically slowed down my labor.
Scientifically, this makes sense. The labor hormone, oxytocin, is what keeps labor moving forward. It is also known as the “love hormone”..you know that warm and fuzzy feeling you get? That’s oxytocin. Oxytocin causes contractions. If you are in a place where you are feeling scared or alone, your body is going to have a hard time making oxytocin.
Our minds our powerful. Our mind-body connection is also powerful. Since my brain was feeling scared and worried, it essentially sent out a signal to slow down or stop labor.
Thankfully, I had a wonderful labor and delivery nurse and she and my husband worked together to make me feel cared for, listened to, and safe. After an hour, my labor contractions picked back up. They reassured me that I could do this and I could have this baby. They were right! I went on to have a very low-intervention unmedicated birth and pushed for about 30 minutes before my son came into the world on a bright sunny morning.
If you find yourself in a place of fear during labor I encourage you to explore that. Ask for reassurance and encouragement from your support team. Create an environment in your hospital room that feels cozy…dim lighting or warm lighting with flameless candles, music or white noise to drown out any medical noises, and bring a little piece of home with you to the hospital. Some people bring a comfy blanket or a picture of their pet. Do whatever you can to promote oxytocin. Have your partner hold you between contractions. Look up fear clearing relaxation guides on YouTube or Spotify.
Yes, thinking about getting a baby out of you can feel scary and overwhelming. But, I promise you can do it! Promoting a safe and secure environment with a support team that you trust can make all the difference. You’ve got this!