NICU Awareness Month: One Client's Journey from the NICU to Home

September is Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) Awareness Month, a month dedicated to raising awareness to the challenges many parents face when their baby has to be cared for in the NICU. Doulas of Raleigh is very aware of those challenges and is here to support any parent going through this. But for today’s blog, we are fortunate to have a former client and NICU-parent share her experience with us. Read on to learn more about Claire’s journey from the NICU to home and discover some of her tips for NICU parents.

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At 30 weeks pregnant, there are a lot of expectations.

You’re in the home stretch of pregnancy; yet there’s still over two months left until you expect to meet your baby. You may be expecting to take a babymoon to enjoy the last moments of freedom with your partner. You may be expecting to attend baby showers and have friends and family dote on your round belly. You may be expecting a hospital stay and starting to make a packing list.

However, you’re probably not expecting to wake up completely soaked because your water has broken.

One night in April, that is how we became part of the millions of families worldwide who have experienced a NICU stay. For most pregnant women, the NICU is a place you’ve heard about but a place that you hope you never have to visit.

When I was admitted to the hospital at 30 weeks and 5 days, the neonatal nurse practitioner came to meet with us and explain what to expect when our son was born. Thankfully, many babies born past 30 weeks gestation have a really optimistic prognosis. In addition, my doctors were still hopeful they could delay labor a few more weeks.

Our son was born two days later at exactly 31 weeks.

He had a very fast delivery and the NICU team almost didn’t make it into the room! As soon as I delivered, he was passed off to the team, who ensured he was stabilized and transported to the NICU. Those moments were far from the “golden hour” that I expected to have with him upon delivery.

This started our five week NICU journey. My husband was able to go visit him shortly after birth, while I was finishing recovery. The first time that I met my baby, he was hooked up to wires and machines. None of these things were what we expected but we were so thankful to hear good reports from the doctors.

Throughout the next five weeks, I spent my days sitting at his bedside pumping breast milk to nourish him and holding him on my chest to provide skin-to-skin comfort for him. My husband and I worked out a schedule where I’d spend my days in the NICU and he would go visit at night for a feeding. Due to hospital restrictions during our stay, we were not able to visit at the same time.

Through the hours I spent sitting at my son’s bedside, I formed special friendships with so many of the nurses there. This really helped us to feel confident in the care that our son was receiving when we weren’t at the hospital. They also taught us how to care for our tiny baby through gentle hands-on training. These nurses will be friends of our family for many years, as we all watch our 31-weeker grow into a big strong boy.

Although the NICU can be a very scary place as a new parent, the amazing staff, who dedicate their careers to caring for the tiniest humans, can make it a special place with sweet memories.

A few practical tips for families facing a NICU stay:

If you plan to provide breastmilk for your baby, establish a system for pumping, storing, and washing.

Our postpartum doula, Kelly, provided me with a pumping schedule that maximized sleep since I wasn’t going to be waking up to nurse the baby just yet.
Extra sets of pump parts are a MUST have. You do not need to spend your precious hours, as you recover from birth, washing pump parts.
I highly recommend the Kiinde pumping system to pump right into bags, which you can bring to the hospital with you. Pumping into bags also saves bottle washing!
Invest in a good hands-free pumping bra. Here’s the one another NICU mom recommended to me, which turned out to be a lifesaver.

Get rest when you’re not at the hospital.

Even though you don’t have your baby home with you, you are recovering from pregnancy and childbirth. It’s important to use the time to get the extra rest that will be harder to get once the baby comes home.
If you can recruit friends and family to help provide meals and do household chores, don’t be afraid to ask. Now is the time you need your village the most, but friends and family may not be aware of your needs unless you voice them.

Build relationships with the nurses. It’s really hard to leave your baby at the hospital. However, when you trust the people caring for your child, it’s much easier to go home and rest.

Remember that for most families, this is a short season. You will have many months and years to enjoy having your baby at home with you.

Breathe, Mama, I know this isn’t what you were expecting, but it is just part of you and your baby's greater story.