Give Yourself the Gift of Sleep
Everywhere we look this time of year it seems like someone has published a “Top 10 Gifts” list. While new air pods might be nice, we all know what new parents have on the top of their wish list…SLEEP! The good news is this is a gift you can give yourself. Read on to find out how.
While we wish this was easy as telling you to “sleep when the baby sleeps, we all know that there are some days and some nights where your baby just won’t sleep. Instead, we urge you to have a sleep plan in place for yourself before your baby arrives. Of course, if your baby has already been born you can still implement a new sleep plan.
One way to set up a plan for sleep is to divide the night with your partner. We recommend letting the night owl take the first shift. Here’s what that might look like if you’re breastfeeding. Go ahead and be in your PJs and in your bed at 9PM. Feed your baby right there in the bed. Once baby is finished, hand the baby off to your partner. Roll over and go to sleep. Your partner is now on baby duty and will take care of burping, diapering, soothing, and anything else baby needs. Have your partner take the baby to another part of the house while you sleep. Newborns are notoriously noisy sleepers (whoever coined the phrase “sleeping like a baby” had clearly never been around an actual baby) and it is possible that every little noise may wake you. Whenever your baby is ready to eat again, your partner can bring the baby back into your bedroom and you can feed the baby again while you are in bed. After baby eats, hand over baby to your partner. Go back to sleep. Rinse and repeat until 3am or so. Whenever that 2-4am feeding happens, it is time to switch over baby duty from your partner to you. You’ll now take care of baby for the next few hours. Your partner will go to sleep. Of course, you can certainly go back to sleep if your baby is content and drowsy or sleeping in their bassinet or other safe sleep surface. Switch again around 8am if needed. This way both of you are getting in at least a couple of sleep cycles each night.
If your breast milk supply is well established (usually after a few weeks), it’s ok to pump during the day and skip a breastfeeding session in the night once or twice a week. Your partner can give your baby a bottle of your breast milk for that first feeding after you’ve gone to sleep to help give you a longer uninterrupted sleep cycle. Of course, if you are formula feeding your partner can give your baby the bottle for every feeding while you sleep.
Of course, we know splitting up the night with a partner may not always be feasible if you are solo parent or if your partner travels for work. Or, maybe you and your partner BOTH need a full night of sleep. That’s when you ask the grandmas, aunties, and sisters to either come help you at night OR ask them to gift you a gift certificate for an overnight postpartum doula. A postpartum doula can come to your home at night and stay anywhere from 8-12 hours. The whole goal of a postpartum doula is to maximize sleep for you and your partner and your baby. They will show up in the evening and send you both off to sleep. Your doula will care for the baby throughout the night while following your infant feeding plans. Your doula will also make notes about any observations about your baby’s sleep patterns at night and what worked to help maximize baby’s developmentally appropriate sleep. In the morning your doula will hand off baby to you, wash any bottles or pump parts used throughout the night, and even bring you a cup of coffee before they head out your front door.
Sleep is important for your mental health and your physical health. You truly do need to take care of yourself so you can be the best parent possible to your baby and the best possible partner. If you give yourself anything this holiday season, give yourself the gift of sleep.