What Have I Done?

When my 2nd baby was born, I had a lot of help in the first 2-3 weeks of her life. My parents and in-laws helped a lot and my husband took a couple of weeks off from work. Then came Week Four and I was on my own with a 4 week old and a 2.5 year old.

I remember sitting in my son’s bedroom playing with him as he built with Duplo blocks. I had my sleeping newborn daughter in my arms. I was totally WINNING at this mother of 2 thing. And then my sleeping daughter woke up and started crying.

No big deal, I thought. She’s probably just hungry. I started nursing her and continued to play with my son. And then I realized my leg was wet. At first I just ignored it and chalked it up to breastmilk that had dribbled down my body and pooled up on my leg. Then my nose alerted me to something much worse.

I moved my daughter’s body enough to look at my leg and saw a lovely smear of yellow-brown poop. That’s when I realized my daughter had had a huge blow out and her entire back-along with my-leg was covered in baby poo. Eww.

I stood up to go clean her up at the exact moment my toddler stood up and threw up all over himself, me, and his Duplo blocks. The crying commenced..for all 3 of us (those postpartum hormones are real!)!

I had no idea what to do and how I was going to take care of attending to and cleaning up all three of us without any other adults at home to help. It was in that moment that I thought I had made a huge mistake in having a second baby. I mean, what was I thinking?!! Who do I even help first here?

Fortunately, I was able to gather enough wits about me to start dealing with the situation. I ended up laying my daughter down on a play mat and took my son to the tub and took off his soiled clothes and gave him a quick standing bath. My daughter started fussing again but she had to wait. I got my son dressed again and set him on my bed to watch Thomas the Train. I just crossed my fingers he wouldn’t throw up again.

I went and picked up my daughter to console her and took all of her soiled clothes and gave her a quick bath in her infant tub. I got her dry and dressed in a new diaper and new clothes and then set her down in her bassinet.

Finally I got dressed in poop and vomit-free clothes and was able to regroup a bit. While the kids were settled I then grabbed the playmat and threw it in the washer along with our soiled clothes. I washed the Duplo blocks with hot, soapy water and let them air dry.

I looked around, took a deep breath, and saw that I actually was able to handle 2 kids.

While I can look back on this day now and laugh…I remember it feeling so very hard in the moment. There have been many moments over the years that have felt hard…especially when we added our 3rd kid to the mix (spoilers…that did not make things easier).

If you are feeling that way now with a new baby and a toddler, just know that you are not alone. We all have these moments as new parents..and as experienced parents. We are constantly needed to take care of someone who is sick or has a boo-boo, we are constantly being touched or tugged on with sticky fingers, we rarely get a full night of sleep. I promise it does get better and it does get easier. One day your kids will get their own band-aid-or get one for their sibling. They will start to wash their own hands and faces and i promise they eventually will sleep through the night (and maybe even until noon!).

If you are stuck in the parenting of multiple small children trenches, just know that you aren’t alone in your feelings of exhaustion or overwhelm. And if you need a laugh, just think of me standing in my son’s room covered in baby poop and toddler vomit!